September 10th, 2003

California bear

Disgruntledness about awards, and some happier news

I'm really sad because I just found out the results of an award contest I entered, and I didn't win. It makes me think that my submission wasn't even viewed, because, had it been reviewed, it would have won. Believe me, I've reviewed all of the entries that won, and mine was so much better. Eeent. I sound resentful and bitter. Perhaps, because I am.

I don't really care about awards *so* much. I understand they don't necessarily mean anything. I am now co-running a video awards site, and I am becoming very disillusioned about this entire "awarding" thing. I really want to turn the site into a feedback site, but I'm not so sure how that would be received.

I'm really tired of running into forums where work is posted and all the feedback that is posted is, "that rocks!" or, "keep it up!" Blah blah blah. There's no constructive criticism. It's all very crappy.

Also, I want outside help with some of the graphics on the site, but my sister is weirdly protective over the graphics. The truth is, we don't have as much time now that we are into school. We just barely posted the awards a couple of hours ago, and they were supposed to be up like the second day of the month. I still have to send out the congratulatory e-mails, and put up all of the submissions for September.

In other, not at all depressing news, I went to my friend Cecilia's surprise birthday party tonight. She was genuinely surprised; it was very amusing to watch her blush. I also got to meet her dad, whom I haven't ever really met before even though Cecilia and I have been pretty close friends for over a year now.

I also got an e-mail from one of my friends from high school the other day. It was really cool to hear from her, because she's just one of the people I had always wondered about after graduating. We weren't always the best of friends, and even when I didn't really like her that much, I still really cared about her. So, it was cool to hear from her; she's a genuinely cool person.

Well, time to turn in. I need to rest up so I can read 120 pages of a computer programming textbook tomorrow. I know you are all green with envy.
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