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School, TV, the van, Oscars, cool videos and poll.
It's March! I would have written a couple of days ago, but I was busy doing (prepared to be shocked and amazed) actual homework! I had to turn in my thesis and research proposal along with bibliography cards for English, and a 50 point paper about the justification of the rule of Han Empire in China for history. My research proposal is pretty cool. I am doing the paper on television, because I love watching TV, and because sometimes when I'm watching TV in the future, I can rationalize and say that I'm doing "research" for my paper. Anyway, my thesis is that extended television watching does not contribute to aggressive behavior. I definitely have my work cut out for me.

Crap. Where's my phone?

OK, on to other things. My sister was recently very depressed about a paper she wrote on how evil is cooler than good -- in the fictional sense. She was paranoid she got a C, and she ended up getting a 95%. Now she is happier to be around, which is good.

My brother and his wife are still having problems. I wouldn't mention it at all, but this is a sort of history of me, and I want to make sure everything is accurate. I hate problems like that. Mostly, I hate people's OBSESSION with this particular problem. If you had a choice of being skinned alive, or decapitated in one quick stroke, which would you choose? Yeah, I'm with you all on decapitation. However, apparently, some people love torturing themselves, and would choose to be skinned alive.

Enough of that. I haven't been able to watch TV in so long. I don't even know what's going on with Jeopardy, anymore. Last time I watched it was all about Arthur Gandalfi from New York, now it's this really smart Asian guy. Well, the last time I got to check-in with the show. Does it make me sad that I actually want to be on Jeopardy someday? OK, that's what I thought. I don't think I'll ever be smart enough. I mean, besides knowing the countries and capitals of Africa, and just about everything that goes on with WB dramas, I know next to nothing.

I have an appointment today with my department of rehabilitation guy. I just need to sign some papers so I can get a new van! Isn't that spectacular? I mean, my van now is a 1989 Chevrolet something or other, and it really is falling apart. I mean, literally. The glove box cover in the middle will fall off every time we accelerate from a stop. The door takes like a degree in physics to shut, and the only reason the front seat stays in is because it's leaning against the back of the seat behind it. It also has over 200,000 mi. on it. Every once in a while, it will just stop working. Sometimes it's the starter, sometimes it's the... thing that starts with the letter "A"... that controls electricity; I can't think of its name right now. Sometimes it's the battery, sometimes it's the hydraulics, and on and on and on. Anyway, so I'm going to be getting a new van as part of my program with the Department of Rehabilitation.

The Department of Rehabilitation isn't what it sounds like: drug rehab or something. It's for people with disabilities. Anyway, you sign on, they do stuff for you, you complete a program to make yourself gainfully employed, and then you get to keep the supplies they have provided. It's pretty cool. If I successfully complete my program, I get to keep the van. The van is going to be a 2004 Ford 250 (or might be a 350). It's going to be awesome because I will be able to see out the window, which I have never been able to do in the current van. Plus, it will be a heck of a lot more dependable than my current van.

Hee. I just said "heck." Hehehe.

A belated "yay" for The Return of the King!! I didn't actually watch the Academy Awards, because I think it's boring, but I was pretty happy to hear about that. If I were organizing the Academy Awards, it would go A LOT faster. People would get into the building, but before being seated, the actual winners would be tapped on the shoulder and asked to go backstage. Then they would just lineup back there, the announcers would have 15 seconds to announce each person, and the speeches would have a 45 second time limit. After the time limit is up, the microphone would just turn off, and then the next announcer would announce the next winner. It's like drive-through, but for an awards ceremony.

Also, the red carpet time would go a lot faster, too. I'm thinking like perhaps a marching band procession. The famous people would only be allowed to pick one person to talk to, and that's it. Maybe I'm de-glamourizing the occasion, but it would be more exciting to watch.

Speaking of exciting things to watch, I recently downloaded a really cool video where this guy dances like a robot. Anyway, it is way cooler than it sounds. It's actually this guy who starts dancing like a robot, but then starts dancing like... it's really hard to describe... a person made out of rubber? Anyway, it's very cool. If you have a reasonably fast connection, I would recommend downloading it to watch over and over again. The direct link is here (Windows media player format, 3MB). The site is here. I would recommend downloading the clip "Caught on Tape" which is a montage of cats doing funny things. Anyway, the site has a bunch of funny clips and commercials and people hurting themselves on accident. It's good times.

I think I will end with an exciting poll.

If you could choose how you die, and you had to pick between only these two choices, you would pick

Decapitation by guillotine.
Being skinned alive.

Smackdown: Who would win in a fight?

Lana from Smallville
Summer from The OC

Justice or mercy?