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I am mostly logical. I love making decisions that make sense, but I have one quirk that makes no sense at all. I believe, and have always believed, that if something smells good, it should also taste good. It's not that illogical, right? I mean, if you see something that looks soft, you deduce that it would feel soft. I know that the senses can be fooled, but mine have been fooled multiple times.

It all began with my very first memory. I was less than two years old when a bottle of my mom's lemon scented fingernail polish remover caught my fancy. I don't remember breaking the top of the bottle off, or chugging it, but I do remember getting my stomach pumped at the hospital. They had to put a tube down through my nose and into my stomach that pumped charcoal. It was not a pleasant experience.

Over the years, I have had negative experiences with good scented but bad tasting things. Most of them usually involved licking perfume off of my arm or wrist, with a couple of lotion variations. I recall tasting a deodorant only one time. I don't recommend it, especially if, like my experience, it has antiperspirant. Your mouth will get extremely dry, and your tongue feels all tingly and like sandpaper for a long time.

Since my accident in 1999, I have not been able to indulge in this particular quirk as much as I would have liked to do it. It is really difficult trying to convince someone else to let me lick or taste something not meant for licking or tasting. Difficult, but not impossible.

This past summer, I went to the mall with my sisters. We were in Bath and Body Works -- a dangerous store for someone like me -- when I smelled the most delicious hand cream. I can't remember what flavor it was, but it was candy scented. I think it was gummy bears or something. Anyhow, it smelled awesome. I just knew that it was going to taste exactly like it smelled.

I had heard somewhere that they were making edible body products, and I thought that this hand cream was definitely one of them.

"No, Kim, I'm not going to let you lick this tester." said my younger sister Kellie after I told her about my desire.

"This isn't like all those other times." I said, trying to convince her. "They actually make products like this that you can also eat. Look at how smooth that is! It looks exactly like lemon meringue pie topping. It's meant to be tasted!"

"If I let you taste it, you can't blame me if it tastes bad." Kellie said after I spent several minutes wearing her down.

"Of course! I would never do that." If I had been a dog, my tail would have been wagging, with my ears perked.

She let me stick my tongue in an undisturbed patch of hand cream. Do you think it tasted good? Well, I guess I never learn. It most definitely did not taste like it smelled. It didn't even taste a little bit good. It also made my tongue feel numb and oily for the rest of the day.

My sisters just rolled their eyes at my reaction. There were also more than one "I-told-you-so." That day I vowed never to taste something not meant for tasting again. But who knows the next thing that will make me want to forswear it.

What Else Could It Be
Big, bright, great
its fullness abounding.
Mocked, bad, dim
its effects far-reaching.

You must be an idiot for watching
the ultraviolence singly responsible
for so much death, destruction, and the decline
of our awesome American ideals.

No, not
me. I cannot get behind
that. For
I see
more than do the blinded.

Bad with good, black with white, but
with full-color and surroundsound.
A constant source of information and
entertainment. Don't deny that you
do it, too.

If you become zombified
then you are doing it wrong.
Let that right brain work.

Don't blame
it. Just watch
your kids,

ABC through WB
I have appointments
I don't break,
and I have
no apologies.